


Love Language

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Comedy, Light Angst, Lorenz being neurotic, M/M, One Shot, Past Child Abuse, Queer Themes, Rare pair hell is a terrible place, Rarepair, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Works in any route just so long as they're together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24905299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Everyone has their own way of expressing their love for another person; Lorenz worries that he's not being clear enough with Raphael.
Relationships: Lorenz Hellman Gloucester/Raphael Kirsten
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	Love Language

When Lorenz was still a schoolboy, he had found a misplaced novel during a walk along the grounds of the monastery; naturally, he had taken it upon himself to return the book to the library, but not before uncovering some of the contents of said book. The story followed the crown prince of a fictionalized land, who Lorenz had initially admired very much. He was a strong, elegant gentleman with delicate manners and a will of steel, all of which made him an ideal successor to the crown. Lorenz could not say the same for the secondary character, who was a loud, dense, and boorish scoundrel who made his living off of illegal duels in a secret gladiator ring. It seemed to be a straightforward story of the prince trying to put an end to the gladiator’s antics, a plot which Lorenz had found himself sucked into. He had faith that the story would end well, the noble would triumph over the depraved, order would be brought back to the fair kingdom, and all would be well once again all due in thanks to the masterful leadership of those worthy. However to his horror, within the first few chapters the prince and the gladiator, against all better judgements, against all inhibitions, and without a single thing that could give them any sort of common ground fell in love!

Lorenz had half a mind to hand over the raunchy thing to Seteth, lest anyone wanted their minds to rot at the utter nonsense of it all. In spite of how thoroughly he combed through each and every passage of the early chapters, nothing other than a horrible and illogical romantic dynamic could be found. To ensure that there was nothing truly inappropriate, he decided to make a sacrifice for the greater good and read it in full, but once again only to confirm his suspicions.

Then he re-read it.

Then read it once more.

And that’s how the novel found a home tucked underneath Lorenz’ mattress.

Lorenz had told himself that this was the only book of this nature he would keep, just one intimate pleasure for himself. To be too overindulgent would be rather unbecoming, he still had a great deal of work to attend to while completing his studies after all. Nonetheless, the quaint little saying ‘give an inch and take a mile’ proved true as he procured a substantial personal library of romances, all with a wide array of different dynamics and plotlines that only left the young man hungry for more. Though limiting himself was by no means a choice, if he had his way he would waste his entire inheritance on his new hedonistic pursuit; each and every one of the books he collected featured a courtship between a man and another man, and simply being associated with these books was deeply precarious for someone such as Lorenz.

Oh yes, he was fully aware that his bedside reading was hardly befitting for a noble. Whether they liked it or not, a noble was obliged to continue their family bloodline, lest they wanted to throw away centuries worth of heritage and leave the commoners to fall into complete disarray with no secure leader; Even so, Lorenz couldn’t bring himself to part with them, in spite of how horrible they made him feel. He grappled with his sense of responsibility and his desires, struggling with bouts of bitter and envious rage, becoming paralyzed with anxiety in the night, and at times being able to do nothing but cry. It was as though he was standing before a place where he knew he was meant to be a part of but would never be welcomed to, long for it as he might it was never meant to be.

Yet even so, he still yearned. Tales of true, unapologetic, brazen, and unflinchingly true romances haunted his heart as much as it made it feel full. He had setted that these feelings of his would remain within the privacy of his dormitory: Secretive, special, and safe. There would be no need for him to try and save face if no one knew, and no one needed to know, hence why everything would be just fine. Of course, everything wasn’t just fine, seeing as he had uncovered the filth that coated his family name and turned against his lineage in a world changing war. From there he played a part in toppling a force that had Fodlan by it’s throat, bringing an end to unspeakable evil, and was currently on conducting a man-hunt for his own father. All things considered, Lorenz’s preference for men hardly seemed important anymore. Lorenz recognized he still had much to do to better himself as a person, for the good of the public, for the friends he had come to claim as his true family, for himself, for the look on his father’s face when he realizes his little pet project would not be playing his game at all-

For Raphael.

Oh, Raphael.

Lorenz had curled atop Raphael’s chest in the early hours of the morning, slowly rising and falling with each deep breath as he took in the other man’s peaceful expression. Wide awake and left to his own devices, he did what he often did when he found himself with nothing to busy himself with: Lorenz had begun to worry. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to welcome the man in his bed, he was utterly euphoric, the time they shared had been everything Lorenz had ever wanted and more. Raphael made the perfect companion, loyal and kind, endlessly patient and blindingly bright. Every waking moment, Lorenz felt more loved than he had ever felt in all his life, and Raphael scarcely needed to even lift a finger to seize his heart in full. That was just the problem, Raphael made Lorenz too happy, and he did it without asking for anything in return. In light of everything Raphael did for him, he couldn’t help but feel greedy, selfish, even. It reminded Lorenz of his father, how he treated his mother as a breeding sow and him as political ammunition, means to an end, objects for his own benefit. Lorenz once wanted nothing more than to be just like his father, but now the thought was enough to make him heave.

Even after everything they went through, he still considered himself to be barely worthy of being Raphael’s equal, a notion that Raphael himself adamantly refused to even humor. Lorenz wished that he would at the very least give it some thought, if only he could gain some relief in knowing if he actually was failing as a partner. Lorenz might not have known what needed to change here, but he was certain that Raphael deserved more. He deserved to know that he could lay back and allow Lorenz to take charge, that he deserved to be adored, that he was wanted and irreplaceable in every way; any semblance of doubt he had about Lorenz’ devotion to him needed to be eradicated as swiftly as it had entered the mind! Lorenz had gone from fretting to feeling nearly manic as his mind buzzed of everything he could do to affirm his love for the great oaf, something truly special that would sweep the man right off his feet and leave him utterly speechless! It will be great… it will be grand! Lovers from far and wide would hear of Lorenz’ magnificent romantic exploits and weep with envy!

“Poor, sweet Raphael….” Lorenz purred deviously, the back of his hand tenderly sliding down Raphael’s cheek, narrowly avoiding the string of drool that had slid down the corner of his mouth. “You won’t even be able to fathom what hit you.”

Raphael let out a loud snort before wrapping an arm around Lorenz’s middle, eliciting a high pitched yelp from him as he rolled them both over to the cool side of the bed.

* * *

There were few gestures as tender as presenting one’s sweetheart with a fresh bouquet of flowers, and Lorenz was unafraid to admit that he was particularly attached to the concept. He had adored all things floral for as long as he could remember, for their delicate beauty and splendid colors spoke to him on a personal level; in turn it frustrated him greatly that so few recognized the art that went into gifting flowers. After all, any fool could rip a handful of dirty dandelions off the nearest prairie hill to shove it into the face of their unfortunate object of affection! To make the action truly meaningful, one would need to understand that flowers had their own intricate language of symbolism, everything from their species to coloration could entirely change the message of their arrangement sent to the recipient. If you weren’t careful, your bouquet that was meant to say “my heart is yours” could easily become “Your head will be mine”! However, Lorenz wasn’t simply going to send a cutesy billet-doux, his bouquet would be symbolic of Raphael and himself, as well as the nature of their relationship.

Deciding on a flower to represent himself was rather easy. The red rose, gorgeous and refined blooms symbolizing passion and prestige… to suggest he use anything else to reflect his character would be an utter waste of time. Lorenz had spent more time on Raphael, studying every one of his options and their meanings, all while trying to ensure he limited himself to Raphael’s favorite colors. All his fussing led him to conclude that there wasn’t a plant upon the green Earth that didn’t emulate the man better than the ever lovely sunflower. Their bold and vivacious hue that was rivaled only by the sun in the sky, and their tall, sturdy stalks already bore great resemblance to Raphael on a surface level. Better yet was what it emblematized, flowers signifying steadfast loyalty, boundless affection, and most importantly unshakable joviality, all of which were defining characteristics of his beloved knight. Lastly, to bring the two together Lorenz included a spray of forget-me-nots, symbolizing the deep and pure love they shared with one another. Though Lorenz hadn’t stopped scrutinizing there, as he put his all towards ensuring each flower chosen for the arrangement was just right. He cut down each rose and sunflower evenly, taking great care to compare the fresh stalks for measurement, and place each flower in one by one. With all that said and done, the bouquet was swaddled in peach-colored parchment and bound it with a silk ribbon, ready for delivery. By this time in the afternoon, Raphael would have finished his daily rounds across the estate, and Lorenz hurried to find and meet him, growing giddy with anticipation as he practically pranced down the halls.

“Lorenz, did you make this for me?!” He whispered to himself, imitating Raphael’s deep, hearty voice. “It’s sooooo nice!”

“Only the finest for you my dearest.” Lorenz shook his head earnestly at the imaginary Raphael. “Words cannot begin to express my reverence for you, but that certainly does not mean that I could not find a solution for that little predicament.”

“Wow, Lorenz! You’re the bestest partner in the whole wide world!”

“Sweet Raphael, I do declare that title belongs solely to you.” Came his dreamy response. “Though beware, for I, Lorenz Hellman Glouscester, intend to rob you of your position! Hrm hm!”

“What ‘cha gonna do now?” Suddenly rang out Raphael’s true voice.

Lorenz squawked loudly, whirling around to see that Raphael had been making his way just down the hall adjacent to Lorenz’ path.

“Raphael-! Goodness-! I-!”

“Oooooh, so you were in the garden; and here I was, looking all over for you!” Raphael said, noticing the arrangement cradled in Lorenz’ arms. He put one hand to his hip and the other to the back of his neck, flashing a gleaming smile at the slender man. “I mean, I figured that’s probably where you might have gone, but... you know.”

“O-Oh! These?” Lorenz blushed. He had been hoping to surprise Raphael, but it seems that his partner beat him to it.

“You did a nice job of putting them together!” Raphael continued, barring Lorenz from his chance to recover. “You’re gonna use these flowers for something, right? ‘Cause you love your garden, I can’t figure out why you would pick the flowers and stuff.”

“In a sense, I suppose so.” Lorenz tried to compose a confident expression as he held the flowers out with both hands. “For you, dearest.”

Raphael stared down at the bouquet for a moment with wide eyes, jaw hanging slightly. “...oh!” He exclaimed, breaking his own silence. “Oh, hey! It’s for me...!?”

“Indeed it is!” Lorenz beamed with a catlike grin.

“Woah...!” Raphael reached out to clench the flowers in his fists. “Hey, you know what? There’s this vase that I saw over there that these would look real nice in!”

“Hold just a moment, there’s something you ought to know about these flowers-” Lorenz started, an eager glint catching his eye. “-This bouquet isn’t simply meant to adorn our quarters, nor is it meant to just be a standard gift; there is a deeper meaning to it…!”

“Ok! Just let me put it down before you-”

“You see, this bouquet is meant to resemble you and I as individuals in both appearance and character!”

“Yeah, that’s great, but I think I should-”

“I of course, am the red rose, seeing as I am beautiful as one; Aha, I am merely being coy with you! One needn't go too deep into detail on why this simply makes sense.”

“R-Right, flowers, flowers that have a lot of-”

“The sunflower here is meant to represent you. A flower associated with warmth, compassion, and glee! What better way to describe a man as radiant as yourself? Did you notice how it’s also your favorite shade of yellow? I took great care to make sure it was just right!”

“Lor-L-Lor- I’m-”

“These two flowers couldn’t be more different in appearance, could they? I dare say there is no combination stranger, and yet when they’re brought together they are a terribly charming pair. This arrangement is not only symbolic of us, but our unity, how we’ve come together as one to-”

Raphael finally put an end to Lorenz’s jabbering when he suddenly sneezed loud enough to make Lorenz clasp at his heart in shock.

“I-I’m allergic-” Raphael stammered, sniffing loudly.

“... I beg your pardon…?”

“Oh yeah, allergic to pretty much all flowers… You know it’s weird, everyone else in my family doesn’t seem to have any problems, but I’ve been like this all my-”

He broke off, letting out another eruptive sneeze.

“A-ah- let me take them from you then…!” Lorenz stumbled as he grasped at the flowers, his gentleness with the collection prior disappearing. Raphael let the flowers escape his grasp, before doubling over himself as he went into a full allergy attack.

Lorenz slid just behind Raphael’s line of sight, scanning the halls when his eyes locked with one of the maids, who stood stiff with her feather duster at all the commotion. Lorenz frantically waved her over, to which she obliged with a bumbling bounce in her step.

“Here-!” Lorenz commanded, forcing the bouquet into her arms.

The Maid’s face popped out from between the pollen coated blossoms, spitting out a forget-me-not that had been caught in her mouth.

“M-me?!” She squealed. “But what should I do with it?!”

“Just get rid of it!” Lorenz hissed indignantly, causing the poor maid to leap a foot in the air and clumsily hurry away.

As he turned back to face the gentle giant, Lorenz had mused that he would perhaps make Raphael weep that day, sensitive as he was. Though when he imagined it, it had been from being overwhelmed with gaiety, hence why it felt like a punch directly to the gut seeing Raphael’s eyes wet from the flowers.

“Maybe I better sit down a second…” Raphael moaned, turning himself towards their shared room.

“No!” Lorenz suddenly cried, throwing himself in front of the large man. “No, I-I haven’t been in there all day Raphael, the windows are shut, it’s too dreadfully stuffy in there! Yes, it won’t do a thing to help your sinuses.”

Lorenz forced out a high pitched, shaky laugh, one which made it sound like he was teetering on the edge of delirium.

“You know where we must go? The parlor! Yes, the parlor, with plenty of fresh, non-pollinated air! The parlor…!”

Raphael sneezed once again in response, leaning into Lorenz as the lithe man wrapped his arms around him, pressing into his side and guiding him away from their room. As they went along, Lorenz peered behind him to see the door slightly ajar, just barely being able to make out the vast and intricate arrangement of roses and sunflowers that decorated the entirety of their room, from floor to bed to ceiling. Lorenz pushed one limber leg back, and shut the door with the tip of his boot.

* * *

In hindsight flowers had been a poor idea, even if Raphael’s affliction was removed from the equation. Lorenz realized this as he bowed before his maid to apologize to her, recognizing what a thoughtless cliche it was. All the more driven to prove his love was true, Lorenz had paced the floor of his study, wracking his mind for what might be a perfect gift for his beau. His first guess, crudely enough, was something edible. Lorenz immediately thought to reject the idea, but upon further consideration he realized that this actually would be a reasonable, if not ideal gift for the other man.

Lorenz had taken Raphael to every restaurant in what was formerly Lichester territory, and that was not an exaggeration. They shared seafood by the ocean, roasts by the coast, and pastries in the capital… by this point you could name any meal and surely enough they would have tried it.  
During their outings, other diners would stare, something Lorenz had anticipated. By all means, he thought to himself, let them stew; perhaps if they had abandoned the hogwash ideas of status and image, they would have been able to retire with someone as special as Raphael too. How sad for them! Though as pleasurable and gratifying meals out with the bruiser were, there was something admittedly material about the experiences. Fun, but material. To make this special meal truly meaningful, Lorenz would take it upon himself to cook for Raphael on his own.

Raphael’s palette was rather diverse for the most part, though even now he still avoided greens where he could. There wasn’t much to go off of to narrow down his options, but who could have ever gone wrong with roasted pheasant and berry sauce? Tender meat with a golden skin and a succulent sweet topping gave it the status of a high ranking in Raphael’s long, long, very very long list of favorites. The cook seemed rather wary of his employer’s idea, even offering to stay and guide him through the process; it was kind of him, but Lorenz dissuaded the man’s worries before giving him the night off… This was something that he needed to complete on his own. Lorenz had kitchen duty during his school days before, and although he might have become a tad rusty over the years, it shouldn’t have been an issue. He simply needed to follow the recipe!

Starting off Lorenz noted that, although the instructions had not called for it, he recalled hearing long ago that magic could enhance the flavor of a dish, as well as make it cook faster. There was no sense in wasting his talent here, so he brought his hand to the stove, dragging his fingers across as a blue flame arose in its wake. Lorenz should have grabbed all of his ingredients before he put the pheasant on the stovetop, he knew that, but every moment he wasted dwelling on it only pushed the meal closer towards being burnt. He perched his borrowed cookbook under his arm as he raced to the pantry, locating the Albienan berries needed to make the sauce. As he began to scoop them into a bowl, he paused, looking to see what else was within the storage space. There was a great deal of all sorts of berries, fresh, cleaned, and ripe for cooking; perhaps a mixture of fruit would create a more appetizing flavor? He filled the bowl to the brim with berries, before heading back to the stove and propping the cookbook back up.

“Oh dear…” Lorenz whispered to himself as he realized that according to the instructions, he was supposed to make the sauce first, then roast the pheasant within it. “N-no matter, I will have this fixed in no time at all.”

Lorenz just about tore the cabinets apart trying to find the berry muddler, before he panicked and grabbed a wooden spoon to mash them all together. The cookbook mentioned that one was supposed to repeat this process until the berries were like a sauce, though the best he could get it was like a jam. Confident that this too would also prove to be unimportant, he tipped the bowl in and instinctively stepped back as the squashed berries quickly began to hiss and bubble. The recipe also called for several spices and garlan, prompting another trip back to the pantry; he struggled to locate these but fortunately remembered that both Raphael and himself were rather fond of spices from Brigid, which were conveniently close. Oh, and seasoning from Duscur could be used on just about anything! Lastly, some brown sugar would surely further emphasize the sweetness of the sauce. Yes, all three of these would make fine substitutes! Now soaking up the sauce and coated with seasoning, all Lorenz needed to do was place the roast within the clay oven and wait.

(Of course then the berry muddler would appear within plain sight only when he began to clean up from his prep work.)

Lorenz had begun cooking at just the right time, as his ears perked at the unmistakable sound of Raphael stomping his way towards the dining room, Lorenz quickly summoned flame upon a fingertip and lit the dining table’s candles, hurrying into the kitchen. Raphael proved to be merely on top of his heels, his head poked in through the entrance.

“Hey everybody! What are we-” Raphael paused, noticing Lorenz in the place of the regular chef. “Oh, hello there!” He cooed, pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing in here, Lorenz?”

“What do you suppose I’m doing?” The other man asked, albeit good-naturedly. “I’ve prepared us a meal.”

“You did?” Raphael gaped. “What did you make?!”

With a flourish, Lorenz pulled the pheasant roast from the oven, presenting it to Raphael triumphantly. The man’s face lit up immediately.

“It... looks…. amazing! We’re gonna eat this together, right?!”

“Oh, listen to yourself… you poor dear, one would have to pry me from your side to keep me away from you. Come, now.”

Raphael all but hovered over Lorenz as he crossed back to the table, carving into the roasted bird. Raphael wasted no time in snatching his plate, putting it right under Lorenz’ nose to put half on top.

“Oho, man! I can’t wait to dig into this!” Raphael was practically drooling as he flew to his seat in what must have been a fraction of a second.

“Patience, dearest.” Lorenz put his hand out, reveling in the sheer amount of elation Raphael was exuding. He popped open the bottle he cradled, and poured out frothy, pungent ale, a drink which he had adored.

“Aw, this is so… get over here!”

A beefy bicep curled it’s way around Lorenz, tugging him into Raphael’s and squeezing him in a tight side hug. Gently, Lorenz’s fingers ghosted just along Raphael’s squared jawline, tipping his face up slightly.

“May I?”

“Uh, Yeah? Of course!” Raphael cheered, before shutting his eyes and puckering up.

Lorenz leaned forward to brush his lips lightly against Raphael’s. It was a chaste, tender little thing, though when he pulled back his eyes were full of stars. Raphael however, as with all things, was not satisfied with just one. He placed a peck upon one cheek, then the other, followed by one to the forehead, and set to rapidly peppering Lorenz’s face full with kisses. Lorenz giggled helplessly all before he smiled through an adoring kiss upon his lips.

“Oh, you terrible brute…” Lorenz tapped the side of Raphael’s face in a mock-slap, grinning from ear to ear.

Deftly, he slid himself from Raphael’s hold and walked backwards to his own chair. Everything was going perfectly; they had not yet even begun to eat and Raphael was already entirely beside himself. The weight upon Lorenz’s chest lifted at the solace of knowing he had succeeded in earning his spot within Raphael’s heart, the balance of their own little world restored. Raphael drove his fork into the pheasant, bringing up the entire cut of bird off it’s plate as he licked his lips anxiously. Lorenz swirled his goblet of wine, savoring the scent and taking a dainty sip to commemorate his victory as Raphael took a gigantic mouthful of the food.

And completely froze.

Lorenz peered at Raphael past the golden rim of his glass chalice, blinking owlishly at the strange expression that overtook his bumpkin’s continents. Raphael remained still as a statue, eyes and cheeks bulging as he didn’t so much as twitch. As Lorenz lowered his drink, Raphael seemed to remember himself and began to chew, quickly at first but slower with each rotation of his jaw.

“Do you… not like it?” Lorenz asked, hesitantly. “For if that’s the case, you musn’t force yourself-”

Raphael put his finger up, asking for just a moment to chew before he finally gulped it down loudly. Any other day Lorenz would be quite pleased to see that he was avoiding speaking with his mouth full, but the implication here only made the pit in his stomach expand.

“So uh… what… What kind of sauce is this?” Raphael queried, using his knife and fork to pick at the poultry.

“It’s… it’s a mix of berries, I grounded them on my own.” The noble answered, radiating dejection.

“Woah! Y-you did? That’s amazing…!” Raphael praised, though lacking his usual enthusiasm.

Raphael turned his eyes back down to his plate, his fork still tracing over the top. As much as he tried to be subtle about it, the fact he was trying to scrape the sauce off was not lost on the young count.

“You don’t like it.” Lorenz stated, completely dispirited.

“No, no, no!” Raphael shook his head before he could even figure out an excuse. “I-It was just… it was just too hot!”

To emphasize the point, Raphael made a show of blowing on his plate whilst trying not to get too much of a whiff of the saccharine dish. He shoveled a bite into his mouth, humming approvingly as he gave Lorenz a thumbs up and a taut smile. Lorenz watched him with leery eyes, before delicately cutting into his own serving and taking a tentative bite.

Lorenz regretted a great deal of things in his life, but biting into that bit of pheasant was by far the worst mistake of his life. He was relentlessly assaulted by the nightmare he had created, one which could only be described as being like biting into a leather belt shredded into pieces, drowned in honey, rolled in sugar, and left out in the sun for the day. The actual taste of the spices had been lost, but the burning kick was left behind, so the more Lorenz chewed the more his tongue burned. This proved to be completely intolerable, as the meat was so dry one could mistaken the thing for paper mache. It was ungodly, heinous, an abomination among mortals.

“It is…” Lorenz cleared his throat. “A tad… fibrous.”

“B-but it’s not so bad after the first bite!” Though Raphael’s reassurance sounded more like suggestion.

“Oh yes!” Lorenz lept to agree. “You only need to take a moment for the flavor to settle…”

They fell into silence as they sat opposite to each other, Raphael smacking his lips slowly, eyes squinted as his mind struggled to comprehend the aforementioned flavor alone. All the while Lorenz pressed his napkin against his mouth, brow furrowed as he concentrated every nerve in his body to avoid gagging.

“Uh… Lor-Lor?” Raphael suddenly said between harsh smacks.

“Yes?” Lorenz quickly asked, eager for an excuse not to take another bite.

“So… You know we got some of those… Herring tarts… in the kitchen.” Raphael cringed through the texture.

“...Oh! Do we now..?!” Lorenz spluttered.

“Yeah, yeah we totally do…!” Raphael forced a half-hearted laugh. “You uh… wanna go get some to go with… our… dinner….?”

The idea of having a dessert before eating an actual meal, especially when wasting food already on the table, was one thing the two men could agree was simply unacceptable. Regardless, Lorenz’s hands pressed down on his armrests, already starting to stand before he could even utter his response.

“Th-that sounds wonderful.”

“Come on, let’s go.” Raphael blurted out, bumping and shaking the table as he wasted no time in bolting from his seat.

“Yes, let’s. Immediately!”

To which the young couple wasted no time promptly abandoning the pathetic dish, Raphael desperate to bring some relief to his palette, and Lorenz mentally kicking himself all the way across the dining table and beyond.

* * *

_**An Ode to Raphael** _

After writing the title in a series of swoops, sweeps, and curls, Lorenz pursed his lip and found himself stuck. He had imagined inspiration would come easily to him, seeing as this wasn’t the first time that he shut himself away to wistfully pour his heart out over his lumbering lover. His past works were enough to make him cringe in shame, but Lorenz felt he had improved enough to say that Raphael would be impressed by such a sentimental gift. The ruffian in question was currently out of the estate, giving Lorenz a considerable stretch of time to write his poem and practice speaking it aloud; but how would he be able to recite to him if he didn’t even have a clue as to what to write? Well, he did have a clue, brief visions of choice words, phrasings or ideas he could capitalize on, but actually putting it into words? For whatever reason, he couldn’t do it. Mulling it over, Lorenz decided to take a different approach to his poem to get in the flow of writing, something more symbolic. He nodded to himself, turning over to the next page to start again, jotting down the first title he could think of.

**_The treasure of Glouscester_ **

Ah, yes, this was a good start. Raphael was rather precious and certainly priceless as a person, one in a million, one might say. Oh, and he had hair and eyes like gold, with a shining disposition to match! Those were connections Lorenz hadn’t even considered when he thought of the title, things that simply went to show the magic of the creative process.

_Across flowing fields of grain and vivid canopies of green_

_Through silvery lake, flowing river, and the vast, endless seea_

_From skies above, moon and sun, lie riches and fortunes untold_

_All of which are dull in the face of your heart made from gold_

Lorenz stopped again as he realized that his original title made him feel rather uneasy… Raphael was not an object he owned, they were partners of equal standing. No matter, he would just need to revise. He put a slash through his last title, figuring he could simply re-copy his final version on a fresh sheet of parchment later.

_**The treasure of Kirsten** _

_Across flowing fields of grain and vivid canopies of green_

_Through silvery lake, flowing river, and the vast, endless sea_

_From skies above, moon and sun, lie riches and fortunes untold_

_All of which are worthless and dull in the face of your heart made from gold_

_One would not need to travel far to find the splendors within your spirit_

_For you give it freely to anyone who comes near it_

_Yet here I rest, laid upon your chest, as you share it all with me_

_Basking in the glory of your love, there’s nowhere I’d rather be_

_No, this didn’t sound right either... As a matter of fact, this entire concept was amature, now that he thought of it. Lorenz let out a sigh as he turned the page once more, tapping his quill against the side of his inkwell. In this case, he thought it might be better to reflect on Raphael’s character, so on the page appeared the new title._

_Of heart and mind_

_Dearest love of mine, won’t you share with me your mind?_

_Won’t you show me the mysteries that lay just behind?_

_If not your mind, then bare your heart_

_Should I never know, it shall tear me apart_

_How I long to see the world through your eyes_

_A world so pure and full with no limit to the skies_

_Yet if I’m to be told that I can’t see the Earth of the one I adore_

_Then rest assured, I will cause such an uproar!_

This was far too trite… Lorenz could open any poetry book and find an identical copy to this sappy nonsense. It should be more personal to Raphael, something that related directly to something he valued.

_**Strength among men** _

_As thunder cracks and fires roar_

_You villains have no idea what’s in store_

_For charging in on limbs of steel_

_Comes a hero reborn with no Achilles heel_

Yes, now Lorenz was getting somewhere! A poem that appealed to Raphael’s prowess and passion for training, and direct channeling of the classic hero fantasy to boot!

_Your strength knows no limits, your presence beyond compare_

_Evil abound is caught unaware_

_Your tear through the field, teeth bared in a victorious grin_

_For with the skill and build, you know that you are going to win_

_Those firm and mighty, herculean hands_

_Handle me so carelessly, be still, they innocently demand_

_In your arms I’m held taut in a unrelenting bundle_

_I could not move, should I choose to struggle_

_As I writhe and squirm under a pair of thickset fists_

_My darkest desires all the while continue to persist_

Lorenz felt the tips of his ears start to burn as his mind drifted away entirely to Raphael’s strapping, burly body. Writing about his physique was out of the question, he deemed, seeing as he couldn’t even concentrate while thinking of it.

“Some noble I am!” Lorenz mused bitterly, as he tried to shoo away his more indecent thoughts. “Compose yourself, man! Be refined, and think wholesomely. Wholesome.”

_**The Fated Meal** _

_Among the array of meats, of sweets, of many of a delectable dish_

_I was searching for, though I hadn’t known, my heart’s only wish_

_I found you alone, dear lover of mine_

_Oh, you were the true treat that I would find!_

Ah, a poem based on their youth! Lorenz looked back to that meal they shared together warmly all those years ago. Nothing could be more wholesome than that!

_You took me to your side, lead me under your wing_

_You opened me to a world I thought I might only find in a fairy ring_

_A world free of boundaries, of duty, of possibilities untold_

~~_And yet your manners I chose to scold_ ~~

As memories of his past behavior began to surface, Lorenz winced at his initial spite and unfair judgment towards Raphael. He turned the page, once again meeting the bold, hideous face of the blank page. What else could he write about? He tried beauty, he tried heart, metaphor was a flop, symbolism was a no-go, and there were some memories that weren’t even worth bringing up. What else was there?

His deeds for the good of Lichester?

Were there any endearing quicks or habits he could focus on?

What about tone? Should it be joyful and celebratory? sweet and doting?

Should it be about the soul crushing drama of a commoner and a noble loving one another in spite of all the odds against them?

Or perhaps their lengthy transition of how they went from opposite strangers with not a single thing in common, to being completely infatuated with one another?

Well, he knew he couldn’t write anything that had anything to do with flowers, at the very least.

Lorenz sneered at the empty page before him, but just before he could berate the thing for not magically knowing exactly what he wanted to write, Lorenz had an epiphany. Any potential idea that would sweep Raphael off his feet would rot within the prison of his mind if he didn’t hurry; he shouldn’t be complaining, he should be writing! Raphael would have his gift, and by the Heavens there was not a force on Earth that could stop Lorenz’s mastery of the human language!

_**The Lover’s Plea** _

_My dearest, I beset you at your knee_

_How can I begin to describe thee_

Lorenz had tried describing Raphael! That’s just the problem, he couldn’t! That great oaf just had to be perfect to the point of incomprehension, didn’t he? Lorenz grit his teeth and let out a shaky breath, attempting to stop himself from fuming with a deep breath before he settled back in and switched gears.

_**A Humble Plea** _

_My darling, take my hand_

_I implore you, join me!_

~~_I have something that I_ ~~

~~_I implore you, follow me!_ ~~

_I implore you, listen! A gift for you I bring!_

_For you there is a song that I must sing!_

_Your heart is the size of a ~~Horse~~_

~~_You have a heart like a horse_ ~~

~~_You_ ~~

~~_You are like a horse_ ~~

~~_My dearest_ ~~

~~_My beloved_ ~~

~~_My sweet_ ~~

~~_Ra_ ~~

_Raphael_

_I love you-_

_**I Despise Poetry, Puppies, and All Manner Of Things** _

_Prithee, Pray thee, tell!_

_Tell of the lovely, the fair, the perfect Raphael_

_Tell of us his heart, his strength, his face,_

_But tell us not of the Glouscester disgrace!_

_Tell us not of how he seeked to pierce his heart like a divine cupid_

_Nor of how he failed for being too terribly stupid_

_Nay, not of how he never warmed his beloved’s heart_

_Oh, from his side he must depart_

_For he is a scam, a sham, a vile thrall_

_Never worthy to start, SO DAMN IT ALL_

In a bout of rather undignified rage, Lorenz scrawled ink all over the half written page of his private poetry book, until the page tore and the quill snapped. The rough draft would not find any refuge from his wrath in its sorry state, as Lorenz ripped the page out entirely and tossed it into his hearth. Spinning on his heel, the young count finished off his tantrum by throwing himself onto the silken covers not unlike a hapless damsel, and shrieked loudly into a goosmere pillow.

* * *

Lorenz had confined himself to his study for the rest of that afternoon. In spite of the many hours he put into it, his brainstorming session was largely unsuccessful, leaving him to lay motionless with his head pressed to his desk.

He couldn’t do this. He truly could not do this. It’s a simple act of affection, why was he struggling so much? He loved Raphael, didn’t he? If that was the case, then this shouldn’t be so hard, he should be able to enamour him with nary a struggle, just like in those terrible stories he read so long ago.

What if he didn’t love Raphael after all? Who told him he could love that man? How could he be certain if anything that he was feeling was real? No one had told him. For a moment, a dark, twisted moment, he longed for someone to tell him what to do. As oppressive as it was, everything was easier back when someone would... if only there was someone who would just tell him what to do.

His tirade of mental abuse came to a halt when a girthy hand pressed down on his shoulder. Lorenz flinched, turning to see none other than his own personal angel Raphael, who was surely here to give him divine intervention; or a smiting, one of the two. He stood before Lorenz, clutching two steaming, porcelain bowls.

“R-Raphael...” Lorenz murmured, lacking the heart to do much else than that.

“‘Been told you were hiding up here all day, so I figured you must not be feeling good…” Raphael held out one of the bowls to Lorenz. “Nothing a hot meal can’t fix right?”

Lorenz was assaulted with a wonderful aroma the moment the bowl was held out before. He looked down to see it filled with rich and creamy Daphnel stew.

“Oh…!” He gasped, reaching out to take it. “Thank you, truly.”

“Careful, bottom’s hot.” Raphael warned.

Lorenz blinked at Raphael. “...Raphael, you’re holding it from the bottom.”

“Mm-hmm…!” Raphael whined, a strained smile spreading over his face as he pushed the bowl a little closer to Lorenz.

Lorenz quickly grabbed his serving, giving his lover the freedom to do the same.

“So…” Raphael asked, leaning slightly against the desk. “Wanna tell me what’s been bothering you?”

“Bothering me? Why, nothing is bothering me.”

“You haven’t been acting that way.” Raphael blowing on his stew before taking a loud slurp. “I mean, you’ve been acting funny for awhile now. You’ve been nice, sure, but you’ve just looked really stressed out, and… you haven’t really been talking to me.”

A pang of guilt struck Lorenz’s heart as he realized that over the past few days he had only truly seen Raphael after presenting one of his disasters. He let out a sigh, pushing his meal to the side.

“My apologies, I’ve merely been under a great deal of stress… I’ve been working on something terribly important.”

“Well, I don’t want you to apologize.” Raphael argued, putting his own bowl down to hunch over Lorenz’s chair from behind, looming overhead and ready to give the young count his full attention. “I just wanna know how I can help you. There’s gotta be something I can do.”

“No, my dear.” Lorenz shook his head. “This is my plight, and I can find a solution on my own.” He reached above and behind him to give Raphael’s chiseled cheek a pat. “You needn't worry your pretty head over it.”

By this point Lorenz had grown to expect what Raphael would do when he would shut down like this. Lorenz waited for Raphael to whisk him off to do something insufferably endearing once again, and of course it would immediately make Lorenz feel so much better. Raphael just always knows what he’s doing, doesn’t he? Instead, Raphael asked him with a whimsical tremor in his voice, “You really think that?”

Lorenz furrowed his brow. “...What do I think, Raphael?”

“That I’m… pretty?”

Lorenz scoffed. “Of course I think that, Raphael, we share a bed.” He took the opportunity to leave the comfort of his chair, standing to face his partner. “What do you mean by that, are you insinuating that I wouldn’t think that?”

Raphael looked down at him sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well… no, it’s just I’m kind of… well, you know I’m kind of… a big guy.”

“And what does that have to do with anything?”

“Uh-”

“Truth be told, pretty might not be the best word to describe you… something that carries a little more weight.” Lorenz considered his options for a moment. “You’re not unlike… a marble statue. No, bronze, I think.”

He reached up, once more, tenderly caressing the solid features on Raphael’s face, ignoring the quiet stammering that escaped him.

“Yes, do you recall the statues of the saints from the monastery? Just moulded to perfection, so intense with it’s curvature and definition.”

Lorenz locked his gaze onto Raphael’s dumbfounded one.

“And yet you have the eyes of… ” Lorenz smiled affectionately “… of a sweet little puppy dog. You’re utterly charming in every way.”

A booming ‘thank you’ or perhaps a bone crushing bear hug was all Lorenz really anticipated from Raphael in response. Instead, Raphael placed his hand on top of Lorenz’s, holding him in place as his face flushed with color.

“I… Lorenz I…” He started, before a large grin broke over his face. “...Wow! I just-!”

He turned to look away from Lorenz for a moment, taking a deep breath in and breaking off with a small giggle.

“Wow…!”

Lorenz felt his jaw drop, eyes bugging out in disbelief as he watched Raphael try in vain to hide himself.

That’s all it took? A kernal of praise? It was that easy?!

“Y-Yes, Yes!” Lorenz shook his head, determined to keep it going. “To say that you were a God among men would be an understatement! With those soft curls spun from gold and a smile to rival even pearls, the heavens above weep at the sight of your beauty!”

“Why would the Heavens cry from me being handsome?” Raphael asked, attempting to derail the conversation.

“For the same reason why I want nothing more than to sob each time I see your face: you’re so radiant I scarcely feel worthy to behold it.”

“H-hey, come on, that’s not-” Raphael had started, when Lorenz suddenly slipped his hands over Raphael’s sides, running them down the shirt that could barely contain the taut muscle underneath.

“But that’s only your face.” Lorenz mused. “Your form is a true testament to your might, cultivated after years of dedication and determination to protect the helpless and weak… truly inspirational!”

“Wait, wait-!” Raphael chuckled out, pawing at Lorenz’s invading fingers. “Hold on, you’re tickling me-”

Lorenz took advantage of Raphael’s batting hands and quickly laced his fingers in between them, all but scaling up on the larger man.

“Do not mistake my adulation for shallowness, your beauty and strength is certainly a wonderful asset, but there’s so much more to cherish. They might call you the beast of Lichester, but I’d consider you to be our nation’s heart.”

Raphael was rendered speechless, while the other man quieted his tone and made his voice gentle.

“Your compassion knows no limits, and none are exempt from your tenderness. With a soul so pure, how could one not become completely smitten with you?”

Well, where was all this when Lorenz needed it for his poem? He couldn’t seem to stop, tongue endlessly rolling as he subjected Raphael to heaps of reverence. Raphael had given up trying to converse through Lorenz’s manifesto, now opting to completely cover his face with his hands.

“... What have I ever done to deserve such a man?” Lorenz asked tenderly, taking Raphael’s hands once more to push them out of the way and see his lover’s face.

Raphael was glowing.

“Oh, Raphael!” Lorenz crooned, now losing himself to the theatrics as he threw himself upon Raphael’s arm. “There’s no use nor meaning to my babbling, for there’s not a word in the world that can capture your perfection!”

Raphael leaned back, burying his face into the crook of his elbow while he shook with barely contained laughter.

“Then you should stop-” He managed to choke out though his teeth.

“Ah, but there’s the trouble with it my dear one, I can’t seem to stop trying.” Lorenz pressed himself up against Raphael’s chest, folding his hands to rest his chin just below his collar bone.

Raphael began to straighten himself back up, causing Lorenz to slide slightly down his body.

“Perhaps I never should.” Lorenz sighed, looking quite pleased with himself.

Raphael was now looking at Lorenz with his lips scrunched in a slight pout, all the while he gathered one wrist in his hand. Lorenz was too deep in his speech to pay it any attention.

“I would be perfectly content to do nothing for the rest of my days but sing your prai-”

Lorenz found himself cut off with a startled sound as one arm hooked underneath his knees, lifting him up to place him on top of his desk. Before he could properly react, both of his wrists were taken in one large hand and pressed high over his head.

Lorenz froze up, and had no other choice but to meet Raphael’s eyes.

“Alright, now stop.” Raphael held out a scolding finger.

“Ah- I- I…-” Lorenz’s voice came out as trembling squeaks, shrinking as his face stung with color.

Raphael could not keep a straight face at the sight of the noble, who just a moment ago had so much to say, was now reduced to incoherent whimpers. A large smile spread over his face before he guffawed loudly, scooping Lorenz up into his arms and embracing him.

“Oh, Lorenz! You’re killing me! You’re really killing me!”

“You-!” Lorenz started, the shock on his face twisting to a fiery look of fury. “Oh, you- absolute - brute!” He began to thrash in earnest, or at least attempted to; the most he could do in Raphael’s firm grasp was useless squirming. “You thug! You ruffian! You barbarian! At my most vulnerable, of all the things you could have… of all the times you could have-!”

As Lorenz ranted wildly, Raphael moved his grip down underneath Lorenz’s arms, lifting him up like a disgruntled cat, and plopping down into Lorenz’s ornate chair. He took a moment before he strategically perched the frazzled noble upon his lap, happily tending to his mused hair.

“Everything that I said about you, Raphael…?” Lorenz’ voice became cool and tense, as he glared at the larger man with a face that could have curdled milk. “Forget it. All of it. I regret ever opening my heart to a scoundrel such as you.”

Raphael looked past a violet flyaway pinched between his fingers. “Do you mean that though?” He asked.

“Nooooo…” Lorenz groaned miserably, head hung.

Raphael laughed heartily. “You’re real cute, you know that Lorenz?” he said, as he planted a sloppy kiss onto a limp Lorenz’s cheek. “And so sweet.” He added, his voice bright.

“You and I both have very different ideas of ‘sweet’.” Lorenz hissed, bitterly.

“Huh? Listen, I know I got a bit worked up there, but trust me, I was enjoying myself.” Raphael reassured, stroking Lorenz as though he were a frightened kitten. “You know what you reminded me of? An actor, or something! Hey, that reminds me of this game I wanted to try with you and Maya, and maybe we could get some of the other knights in on it too! It’s where he act out-”

“That’s not the point, you-!” Lorenz floundered for a moment, halting Raphael’s tangent. “You always know just what to say, what to do, how to behave, every time without fail you can reduce me to a babbling mess in moments! I have to agonize just to do a fraction of the same!”

Raphael stared blankly. “Lorenz, you’re reeeeally confusing me right now….”

“I’m not doing enough…!” Lorenz responded. “You’ve done so much for me, gone above and beyond, but this was all I could give back? You deserve more…!”

“Lor-Lor, what are you-” Raphael stopped. “Oh, I see… You’re worried I’m not feeling the same way you are.”

“Precisely! But you deserve to feel as I do, Raphael!”

“Ok, alright, slow down…” Raphael soothed, taking Lorenz’s clammy hand. “How do I make you feel?”

Lorenz had been putting so much effort into trying to say it, and he found himself hesitating once again. He felt as though he should just stop now, and save himself some grace. He couldn’t imagine how he would be able to put his feelings into words… but this large, calloused hand engulfing his own was enough to give him the courage to try.

“I feel… as though I’m a single bloom ensnared in a tangle of brambles and thorns.”

Lorenz slowly circled his thumb around Raphael’s hand as the words came flowing.

“As I sprouted, I dared not move an inch, lest I wanted to be speared… my only option was to grow upwards… to try and rise above it.”

Raphael tilted his head slightly, waiting for Lorenz to continue.

“And you… you’re like the sun. Your warmth breathes new life into me, makes me grander than I ever thought I could be. I want nothing more than to bask in your light.”

Lorenz finally looked back up at Raphael.

“I want it so painfully, that I’m willing to risk being cut down. But the closer I come to your rays, the more I think that… perhaps I had nothing to fear to begin with.”

“But why’s that a bad thing?” Raphael asked gently.

“Because now that I’m here with you… nothing to fear, no expectations, no obligations… I haven’t the faintest idea what I’m doing…” Lorenz finished, hanging his head miserably. “Does this make any sense to you…?”

“Yeah, I see what you mean.” Raphael started. “But I’ll be honest with you Lorenz, you’re thinking way too hard about this.”

“Whu- I am not!”

“Don’t get me wrong, I hear you! But you keep talking like I think you’re a chore or something…. You shouldn’t have to get this freaked out about showing me how you feel.”

“I-” Lorenz backed down, exhaling deeply. “Please understand, I love you, and I want to be with you more than anything in the world but… this is so difficult for me. There’s a standard that I want to reach but I haven’t the slightest idea where to begin.”

“But I don’t have any standards for you.” Raphael interjected. “What, you think I got a set of rules telling you how you’re supposed to love? I’m not gonna force anything on you, other than maybe pushing you to be yourself. Even then, you don’t exactly need my help with that.”

“But…” Lorenz let out a distressed whine. “Oh, Please dearest! I’m at a complete loss of what to do, how can I make you happy?!”

Raphael gestured for Lorenz to stop rambling.

“Alright, alright, ok, here’s what you can do for me; it’s something I really want out of you.”

“Y-yes?” Lorenz leaned in, eyes wide and attentive as he waited to finally get the answer he worked so tirelessly for. “Anything, anything at all, Raphael. I’ll split mountains, I’ll harness the winds, I’ll rearrange the stars in your image, There’s not a thing too outlandish! Just say the word, I will see it done!”

“Get out…” Raphael emphasized this by jabbing a finger against Lorenz’s forehead. “Of your head… and spend time with me instead!”

“That’s what I’ve been doing this whole time!” Lorenz cried, outraged.

Raphael simply put his hands out, giving Lorenz an open and knowing smile. Lorenz blinked a few times at him cluelessly before it finally clicked.

“Oh.” He squeaked, suddenly feeling rather hot underneath his collar.

Raphael burst into cheerful laughter, wrapping Lorenz up into his arms once more and applying firm, grounding pressure.

“Ok! You got anything in mind?”

“Anything you would-”

“Nuh uh, I wanna hear what you wanna do.”

“Well….” Lorenz looked around the room, eyes falling onto the neglected bowls of stew, now cooled to a proper eating temperature. “Now would be a time as good as any to share a meal together.”

Raphael let out a loud gasp. “Oh, right! I forgot!”

Raphael excitedly turned to the bowls on the desk, racing to grab one; but just before he did, he paused, turning back to Lorenz and lifting him into the air from underneath his arms. Lorenz’s hands scrambled to cling to Raphael’s forearms for support, and was unceremoniously plopped back into his ornate chair. Raphael in turn hurried over to another chair in the room, ran it over, and scooted as close as he could to Lorenz.

“That’s how much I love you, I forgot all about this.” The large man grinned toothily.

Raphael made short work of guzzling down his stew, something which usually made Lorenz cluck at and lecture him. But tonight, Lorenz only fluttered his eyelashes warmly at him, before sipping at his. Raphael truly made him happy, and now Lorenz could say with confidence that Raphael felt the same way. If they could take this much joy in simply sharing food together, then what use was there for flowers or poetry? This was all they needed, and Lorenz couldn’t be more content with the outcome.

The peaceful silence between them didn’t last long, as Lorenz suddenly spoke up, “You didn’t actually think I didn’t think you were handsome, did you?”

Raphael sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Well no, I’m just not really used to hearing that…!”

“Hmph... That must end tonight!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments! 
> 
> Stay safe, everyone!


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